Personal experiences - bullying.

20 October 2016

Today is a touchy subject for me. Something I feel very strongly about and think they should take more action with it in schools... bullying. 

I have had my fair share of bullying and it is a very horrible thing to go through. It didn't happen a lot through primary school but as soon as I hit year 7, BAM it was a whole different story. I switched friendship groups all the time because I would always do something wrong to piss people off without realizing. Ending up sitting with my sister the majority of the time because no one wanted to know me.

I remember one time for a few months I was with this one group and I used to sit there just eating my lunch in silence afraid to speak with one headphone in, listening to music. Then one day one of my friends pulled me aside and told me they had all been discussing how they think I'm immature and it's like sitting at lunch with her 5 year old brother. They then told me they didn't want me sitting with them any longer.. but yet I hadn't done anything. I know this wasn't being physically bullied but it was physiological.

The was another time I was held up against a wall in the toilets, I was only small, and was given a freeze burn with deodorant..

I was never physically beaten-up but I was physiologically and mentally beaten up. I've had threats of being beaten up, confrontations, cyber bullied. But luckily for me it didn't get physically bad which is better than some people who take their own lives because of bullying.

I have olive skin (I get it from my mumma - you just sang that lets be honest) which means I tan very easily. There were days where I dreaded getting the bus home because there was 1 particular bus that had boys on and everyday they would call me names like 'immigrant' just because they thought it was funny, in front of everyone as well may I add, and everyone was laughing. Everyone but me.

Now whenever people reminisce about school and how they miss it, it gives me a horrible feeling in my gut, flashbacks and tears reminding me how much of an awful time I had. I'm glad school is over. I now have a barrier when I meet new people. I only let it down to a few people and you must be special if I do because I hardly trust anyone. I trusted the girls in school and they just threw it in my face.

I'm not writing this so people feel sorry for me. I want people to know that they're not alone. I wanted to express how much bulling has an impact on people as I now suffer from mental health problems and I'm sure those situations contributed to these problems. This is something I feel so strongly about and wish had more consequences in school. 

So many people self harm or take their own lives from bullying and it should stop. People need to take action and get it stopped. Why would you want to make someone feel so bad about themselves they they don't want to live.. why would you want that on your conscience? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew I made someone feel that crappy about themselves they did something drastic.

Did you experience physical, mental or cyber bullying? Do you think more should be done in schools to take action and stop this?


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